A team has genuinely moved through a recent change reasonably well overall, but one specific team member appears to be struggling significantly more than others — visibly less engaged, more anxious, or noticeably less adjusted than colleagues navigating the same objective change. Supporting this person well, without singling them out in a way that feels stigmatizing or adding unnecessary pressure, is a genuine and valuable skill for any team leader or colleague.
Why Individual Variation in Adjusting to Change Is Genuine and Common
People genuinely and authentically vary in how they experience and adjust to the same objective change, shaped by real differences in individual circumstances, past experiences, personality, and current life context beyond work — this variation is genuine and common, not a reflection of one person’s deficiency compared to colleagues who happen to be adjusting more easily to the same change.
Genuine Signs That Someone May Be Struggling More Significantly Than Colleagues
A noticeable, sustained difference in engagement or energy compared to their own earlier baseline, not just compared to colleagues. A genuine, noticeable, and sustained difference in someone’s engagement or energy level compared to their own earlier baseline — rather than simply compared to how colleagues appear to be doing — helps identify authentic struggle distinct from simply having a different personality or working style.
Visible signs of genuine anxiety or distress specifically connected to the change, rather than general workplace stress. Visible, genuine signs of anxiety or distress that seem specifically and authentically connected to the recent change — rather than general workplace stress that predates it — help identify that the change itself is a significant contributing factor worth addressing directly.
A pattern of genuine difficulty with specific, concrete aspects of the change, rather than vague, general discomfort. A genuine pattern of difficulty with specific, concrete aspects of a change — a particular new process, a specific altered relationship — rather than vague and general discomfort, can help identify where targeted support might genuinely help most.
How to Support Someone Struggling More Significantly, Without Singling Them Out
Check in privately and individually, rather than addressing the concern in front of the broader team. Genuine, private, and individual check-ins — rather than addressing a specific concern in front of the broader team — respect the person’s dignity and avoid the stigmatizing effect of being singled out publicly for struggling more than colleagues.
Ask genuinely open questions about how they’re actually experiencing the change, rather than assuming you know. Genuinely open, curious questions about how someone is actually experiencing a recent change — rather than assuming you already know the specifics of their difficulty — invite honest, individual disclosure rather than presuming a generic explanation.
Offer genuine, specific support tailored to what they actually indicate would help, rather than generic reassurance. Genuine, specific support tailored to what someone actually indicates would genuinely help — additional guidance on a specific process, more frequent check-ins, adjusted expectations for a transition period — tends to be more useful than generic reassurance that doesn’t address their actual, specific difficulty.
Normalize honestly that people genuinely vary in how they experience change, without minimizing their specific difficulty. Honest, genuine normalization that people authentically vary in how they experience the same change — without using this normalization to minimize or dismiss their specific, real difficulty — helps reduce any sense of personal failing while still taking their genuine struggle seriously.
Why Singling Someone Out Publicly Often Backfires
It’s worth being direct that addressing someone’s struggle with change in a way that’s visible to the broader team — even with good intentions — often backfires, since it can add a genuine, additional layer of stigma or self-consciousness on top of their existing difficulty, making authentic support harder to receive rather than easier.
Distinguishing Genuine, Temporary Adjustment Struggle From a More Significant, Ongoing Concern
Consider honestly whether the struggle appears to be genuinely temporary and tied to the adjustment period, or extending well beyond what a reasonable adjustment period would involve. Honest, careful consideration of whether someone’s struggle appears genuinely temporary and tied to a reasonable adjustment period, or is extending well beyond what such a period would reasonably involve, helps determine whether continued individualized support is sufficient or whether a different, more significant response is warranted.
Notice honestly if a struggle with change seems to be revealing or intersecting with a broader concern beyond the change itself. Honest, careful attention to whether a struggle with a specific change seems to be revealing or intersecting with a broader concern — beyond the change itself — matters for ensuring the right kind of support is genuinely offered, which may extend beyond what change-specific support alone can address.
Balancing Individual Support With Fairness to the Broader Team
Provide individualized support without creating a genuine, unfair burden on colleagues who are already adjusting well. Genuine, careful attention to providing individualized support to someone struggling more significantly without creating an unfair, additional burden on colleagues who are already adjusting reasonably well helps balance genuine individual need with fairness across the team.
Communicate honestly, where appropriate, about why individualized support is being offered, without violating the struggling person’s privacy. Honest, careful communication, where genuinely appropriate and without violating the struggling person’s privacy, about the general principle that individualized support is sometimes needed helps a broader team understand this as fair rather than as favoritism.
A Practical Scenario
A team leader notices that one team member appears genuinely and noticeably less engaged following a recent process change, compared to both her own earlier baseline and her colleagues’ apparent adjustment to the same change. Rather than addressing this in a team meeting, he checks in privately and individually, asking genuinely open questions about how she’s actually experiencing the change rather than assuming he already knows.
He learns that a specific, concrete aspect of the new process is genuinely causing her significant difficulty, distinct from vague general discomfort. He offers specific, tailored support — additional guidance on that particular process element — rather than generic reassurance, and normalizes honestly that people genuinely vary in how they experience change, without minimizing her specific difficulty. He considers honestly whether her struggle appears temporary and tied to the adjustment period, concluding that it genuinely does, and continues individualized support through this period. Her engagement and adjustment genuinely improve over subsequent weeks — a direct result of private, individualized, and specifically tailored support, rather than either ignoring her genuine struggle or addressing it in a way that would have singled her out publicly.
Common Mistakes
Addressing someone’s struggle with change in a way that’s visible to the broader team, even with good intentions. This often backfires, adding genuine stigma or self-consciousness on top of existing difficulty, making authentic support harder to receive rather than easier.
Assuming you already understand the specifics of someone’s difficulty without asking genuinely open questions. This can lead to offering generic reassurance or support that doesn’t address their actual, specific difficulty, missing an opportunity for genuinely useful, tailored help.
Failing to distinguish honestly between genuine, temporary adjustment struggle and a more significant, ongoing concern that might extend beyond the change itself. Without this distinction, it’s harder to determine whether continued individualized support is sufficient or whether a different response is genuinely warranted.
Providing individualized support in a way that creates genuine, unfair burden or resentment among colleagues who are already adjusting well. This can undermine team morale and fairness, even while attempting to genuinely help the person who’s struggling more significantly.
Action Steps
- Check in privately and individually, rather than addressing the concern in front of the broader team.
- Ask genuinely open questions about how they’re actually experiencing the change, rather than assuming you already know.
- Offer genuine, specific support tailored to what they actually indicate would help, rather than generic reassurance.
- Normalize honestly that people genuinely vary in how they experience change, without minimizing their specific, real difficulty.
- Consider honestly whether the struggle appears genuinely temporary or is extending well beyond a reasonable adjustment period.
Key Takeaways
- People genuinely and authentically vary in how they experience the same objective change, shaped by real differences in circumstances, experience, and personality.
- Noticeable sustained differences from their own baseline, visible anxiety connected specifically to the change, and difficulty with specific concrete aspects all signal genuine struggle worth addressing.
- Private individual check-ins, genuinely open questions, specific tailored support, and honest normalization without minimizing all help support someone struggling more significantly.
- Singling someone out publicly often backfires, adding genuine stigma on top of existing difficulty and making authentic support harder to receive.
- Distinguishing genuine temporary struggle from a more significant, ongoing concern, and balancing individual support with fairness to the team, both matter for handling this well.
Conclusion
One team member is genuinely struggling more than others with a recent change, and supporting them well, without singling them out, is a genuine and valuable skill for any team leader or colleague. Checking in privately and individually, asking genuinely open questions about their actual experience, offering specific and tailored support, and normalizing genuine variation without minimizing their difficulty all help provide meaningful, individualized support, respecting both their genuine need for help and their dignity in receiving it.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why do some people struggle more than others with the same workplace change?
People genuinely and authentically vary in how they experience change, shaped by real differences in individual circumstances, past experiences, personality, and current life context beyond work.
How can I tell if a team member is genuinely struggling more than others with a change?
Look for a noticeable, sustained difference from their own earlier baseline, visible signs of anxiety specifically connected to the change, and genuine difficulty with specific, concrete aspects of the change.
Should I address a team member’s struggle with change in front of the whole team?
Generally no — addressing this publicly, even with good intentions, often adds stigma or self-consciousness that makes authentic support harder to receive, so private, individual check-ins are usually better.
What kind of support actually helps someone struggling with a recent change?
Genuine, specific support tailored to what they actually indicate would help — like additional guidance on a specific process or adjusted expectations — tends to be more useful than generic reassurance.
How can I support someone without creating unfairness for colleagues who are adjusting well?
Provide individualized support carefully, and where appropriate, communicate honestly about the general principle that individualized support is sometimes needed, without violating the struggling person’s privacy.
When should I be concerned that a struggle with change might be more significant than a normal adjustment period?
Consider honestly whether the struggle appears to be extending well beyond what a reasonable adjustment period would involve, which may signal a need for a different or more significant response.